For the past month I’ve been looking for a grown up job. I’ve been through retail, been a cashier at a pool, a lunch lady, and a dog sitter and nanny. As I’ve grown I’ve realized I love taking care of kids, and though I want to help those of us who suffer from mental illness, maybe I should have gone into education. It’s a thought that’s hard to face. Have I been wasting time and money? What is my true calling? Who am I supposed to be? You know, grown up questions.
I’m wrestling a migraine at the cop dogs house pet sitting. It was a dry month for pet sitting. I recently had an interview at a group home which went really well, in fact they want me to come in for a third interview, but it’s not the job for me. Why? There’s no way I can deal with the stressful responsibility of driving a bus of disabled people to places I’m not familiar with as one of my job duties.
So I keep looking for jobs. I can’t wait out until next spring to take my last class doing nothing. This is the age to start my career (26). I just got an opportunity to come interview for an autism school as a behavioral therapist. I feel like they’ll hire someone more experienced, but I would be proud to tell people that’s what I do if I were to be hired.
I even applied for a position as a seasonal zookeeper. With my anthropology background I feel like I have a small shot at the job. I’ve been daydreaming about preparing lunches for primates or cleaning up zebra poo after hours.
Aside from the nerve wracking job search and soul searching, I’ve been suffering emotionally without Seroquel. I’ve been off it about a month because I couldn’t afford it. Also, the dose wasn’t high enough anymore. It used to regulate my sleep, and eventually lost its effect. I’m dreading having to pay for a doctor’s visit this month, but I need to talk to her to get back on the mental health horse. I honestly feel like a zombie, and it’s put stress on my social life.
Friends, I hope you’re all doing better than I am, and I hope to report some more positive findings soon.