The Consequences of Doing the “Right Thing”

I pretty much screwed myself by reporting misconduct at the group home I work for. Long story short, the confidentiality that should have been upheld when I made the report was immediately dissolved within 10 minutes of reporting possible verbal abuse to one of our profoundly retarded clients (being new I was going off of memory what the definition of verbal abuse was and reporting because A. It’s not right, and B. I could lose my job if I don’t report and it happened.) and now everyone at work hates me.

The initial report was made on Tuesday and I had said nothing to anyone else. I didn’t even realize the impact of my decision until yesterday when my boss came up to me and wanted to talk to me about a “problem” I was having with my co-worker. I ended up bawling while she told me that I took the training on abuse and neglect too “literally” and that I needed to “lighten up a bit” because otherwise there could be a big investigation and my co-worker could lose their job. She even told me what to say to my co-worker to apologize and indicate it was nothing personal.

I sobbed for at least 10 minutes aggressively apologizing and feeling like the worst person on earth.

I went to APOLOGIZE to said person while my eyes were still bloodshot from crying and he aggressively noted in front of the packed room he was in that he didn’t want to talk to me because they was still mad. I also overheard them in the room next to the one I was in telling the entire staff lunch room about the injustice I can caused against them and when I confronted him turned me away in a rude manner.

I was rubbed the wrong way by the whole thing and EXTREMELY angry that the co-worker for not allowing me to talk to them. After work I went to my boss’ bosses (who trained me) and told them about the situation. They said it wasn’t abuse what happened, but still misconduct which they would find out more about what happened (what was said to my boss in particular, because hey, it could be something completely different from what ACTUALLY happened).

I told them I wanted to quit…but I didn’t want to quit, and they said not to, they would help me figure it out and assured me I did the right thing. But honestly, after today, I don’t think the situation at my workplace is going to get any less hostile particularly from other co-workers who are close with the co-worker that I tattle tailed on…

My anxiety is about an 8.5/10 or a 90/100 right now. I was so drained from the whole thing yesterday I went to bed around 7pm and woke up at 3am to finish my paper due tomorrow. I’m not having a day long panic-attack but my body is feeling the effects of the panic that’s been induced about the whole thing.

I promise I’ll get back to everyone and their comments that they’ve left since my last entry ASAP after I get this paper in order…Thank you all for being so supportive in my life. I really need your positive energy today, and hopefully none of you think I did the wrong thing. I got myself INTO this mess by trying to do the RIGHT thing…