My Daily Check-in Sheet

It was suggested to me I put my check-in sheet I use for myself on my blog in pdf form so DailyCheckIn! More content to come soon, there’s a lot going on including progress with TMS and what it’s like.

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From Outpatient to The World

Some of you know I’ve been in outpatient therapy for anxiety and depression for about the past month and a half (I had a major depressive episode – I have bipolar disorder type 1), some of you don’t (a couple months prior to that I was in outpatient for a month but I fell back down deep again), but I wanted to flash my pride that I’m graduating from it tomorrow and I’m a more educated, practiced person creating new neural pathways for myself that I vow to keep active and re-train my brain to think better and be more mindful. I may not be where I want to be but I’m way better off.

The globe below is something I’d add progress to every week on a Wednesday. The leaf was in art therapy that looked like I plant I started growing from a cut to metaphoricalize my roots and growth in outpatient. The actual plant has since been repotted from the water glass it grew in and is pictured with another art therapy project from a book that speaks to sitting with emotions being an uncomfortable and new process.

Last pictures are of my vision board  I never thought I’d make one and now I can’t imagine a world had I not made one, I just want to keep adding! Re-reading affirmations REALLY DOES work to make you start to believe them and make them a part of your life energy.

Fighting perfectionism by leaving this post as is is a huge exposure and you’re part of it!

Radical Acceptance

In outpatient I had to pick a DBT skill and present it. I wanted to share what I put together with y’all. I chose this topic because it’s one that I have a hard time with. Unlike mindfulness where you can refer to your breath, this idea is a little more abstract with nothing physical to be able to rely on for grounding acceptance.

  • Marsha Linehan the creator of DBT had some things to say on radical acceptance.
  • Radical acceptance is – Moment by moment letting go of having to have what you wanted and accepting reality how it is.
  • “You need to radically accept that you want something you don’t have and its not a catastrophe” – ML
  • “You only have to radically accept the moment you are in, and the past.” – ML
  • “In order to change things you have to accept them otherwise what you’re trying to change is something else that you think is reality…and if you want to change it you work on changing it which is perfectly legitimate also.” – ML

Clean Pain vs Dirty Pain

-These are types of pains we have when accepting or not accepting.
-Clean pain example: “I’m sad and I’m human and this is a normal response.”
–Dirty pain example: Fighting against something that gives us clean pain to try to find relief and avoidance/nonacceptance is causing suffering.
–Letting go transforms suffering into more ordinary pain which is part of life.
–When you spend time fighting yourself you aren’t learning how to be a friend to yourself.

Letting Go

Another way to think about letting go is to think of your mind as carrying a backpack.  If you need to go from point A to point B and you get tired somewhere in-between you may be carrying too many unnecessary things in your mental backpack. Getting rid of things that no longer serve you or are not useful to carry will lighten the load and you will be able to make it to your destination quicker and easier. What can you let go of to lighten your backpack?

  • Another way to practice Radical Acceptance which I have personally used and has worked for me is to write down “I accept (reality)” (ex. “I accept that Ryan and I are no longer in a relationship together”) several times being mindful and taking breaks if I feel myself zoning out so that I am focusing on the meaning of what I am writing, writing it in different ways, (ex. “I accept Ryan is no longer my boyfriend”) and reading these aloud to myself.
  • This has benefit me in being engaged in the statements of the reality of the situation. Over three days doing this I noticed myself letting go a little more every time and coming to acceptance of reality as how it is (not to say I like it, but that’s where other DBT skills come in).

How Hard is Radical Acceptance?

It’s a process that requires a lot of energy but it CAN be done.
Some things are easier to accept than others.
As Marsha Linehan said, When we accept reality as it is, we can move forward to change things if we want to, but if we don’t accept reality as it is we’re addressing change to something that’s not real and that’s going to prolong suffering and make no changes moving forward.
Radical acceptance is hard and further you can’t measure acceptance like you can mindfulness and your breath. But trust how your body and mind transform pain as you accept and let go. When we accept we can move forward.

Liebster Blog Award

liebster

I was nominated by JANETMICKLEY who is an amazing blogger and individual. 🙂 I’m glad to have her part of my WordPress family and I hope we continue to know each other for time to come.

 

  • This award motivates bloggers to work hard.
  • It provides exposure to small bloggers.
  • It helps to build good relationships with other bloggers.
  • It is an opportunity to share more about you with others.
  • It’s easy and good fun.

 

You just have to follow the steps given below, if someone nominates you for “The Liebster Blog Award”:

1. Thank the person that nominated you!
2. Post 11 Facts about yourself
3. Answer the 11 questions posted by the person who nominated you
4. Nominate 10 Bloggers that you think deserve some recognition
5. Inform those bloggers that you’ve nominated them!
6. Post 11 questions for them to answer

 

Here are 11 facts about Myself:

  1. I have bipolar type 1 and was diagnosed 6 years ago.
  2. I’m at the tail end of my undergrad psychology degree.
  3. My favorite way to make french toast is strictly with eggs, milk, and butter, no sweet stuff for me for breakfast.
  4. I am a huge Sailor Moon fan and have been since I was little.
  5. My favorite froyo flavor is cake batter.
  6. I have loved and played video games longer than I’ve loved Sailor Moon.
  7. I would like to take a family vacation to Disney World.
  8. I have a growing muppet collection.
  9. I have a really hard time focusing.
  10. My ex boyfriend and one of my best friends uses my Netflix account more than I do.
  11. I’d like to write a book before I croak.

 

Here are the questions I’m required to answer:

  1. Why did you decide to start blogging? I used to blog when I was 13, stopped for many years and hand-journaled, and then when I discovered WordPress thought I’d give a blog a chance again.
  2. What is your biggest dream in life? I’d like to live a low-stress, enjoyable life.
  3. If you could have dinner with one person living or dead, who would it be and why? I have a huge girl-crush on Jennifer Lawrence and would love to have dinner with her.
  4. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? I’d like to be back together with Chris in a happy relationship.
  5. Have you ever fired a gun? No, I don’t think with recordable mental illness you’re aloud to either…but I could be wrong.
  6. Would you rather trade some intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? I’d shed a few IQ points if it’d lose me the weight I want to lose.
  7. What is your favorite joke? I used to have a favorite joke…but I can’t remember what it is. I like bad puns and memes.
  8. What is the worst present you have ever received? Oh man nothing’s been so bad that it sticks out, but I really don’t like getting bath sets from people. ZzZzZ.
  9. What is your worst fear? Well since I already lost the love of my life, I’d say the next scariest thing would be to lose a parent before their time.
  10.  Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don’t understand or comprehend? Yeah, why won’t they all do what I want them to?
  11. Do you want to build a snowman??? Okay 🙂

 

These are my 10 nominations for the Liebster Award (in no particular order), you’re all wonderful bloggers. Even if I don’t often ‘comment’ on your posts, I am right behind you reading them. Fully aware that sounds very creepy. 🙂

http://picnicwithants.wordpress.com/

http://youshouldseemyscars.wordpress.com/

http://despairtodeliverance.com/

http://sheridegrom.com/

http://marieolivia.wordpress.com/

http://my20somethingsadventures.wordpress.com/

http://thewinewankers.com.au/

http://inavukic.com/

http://ocdjm.com/

http://monochromejunkie.com/

 

My 11 questions for my nominees are:

  1. What is your favorite animated series or film?
  2. What would your “Keep Calm And” poster say?
  3. Do you collect anything?
  4. What colors would you want your wedding to be/what colors themed your wedding?
  5. What color is your bedroom?
  6. Do you prefer showers or baths?
  7. What is your favorite breakfast food?
  8. Where is your ideal vacation spot?
  9. Your ideal pizza?
  10. What’s your favorite way to eat potatoes?
  11. Favorite youtube video?

Should I Work on My Story in Chunks on WP?

Or should I keep it to myself out of the public eye so no one steals my ideas? I don’t know if WP constitutes as a publication in which someone could steal my idea/writing.

This is the first line of the story I want to write.

When I was born, like most children I was confused. “What’s this light?” was my first thought, followed by “What is light?”